


Constant Vigilance

by thequidditchpitch_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Comedy, Drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-02
Updated: 2007-08-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 10:48:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10785285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thequidditchpitch_archivist/pseuds/thequidditchpitch_archivist
Summary: The Defence Against The Dark Arts Teacher Chooses To Explain his Limp.





	Constant Vigilance

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Annie, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Quidditch Pitch](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Quidditch_Pitch), which went offline in 2015 when the hosting expired, at a time I was not able to renew it. I contacted Open Doors, hoping to preserve the archive using an old backup, and began importing these works as an Open Doors-approved project in April 2017. Open Doors e-mailed all authors about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Quidditch Pitch collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/thequidditchpitch/profile).

**Constant Vigilance.  
by alloy**

“Constant Vigilance!”

Hogwart’s fifth year OWL students fell silent as the Defence Against The Dark Arts Professor limped into the classroom.

He wasn’t a bad sort as Professors go, he didn’t set long essays, maintaining that shorter was better, but was known to be ruthless when a student clearly hadn’t made any worthwhile attempt. He was never boring.

“Heroes get killed.” He always said. “Theory can give you a nice scar on your chest.” And “sometimes it’s not pleasant coming to grips with brains and sometimes it is.”

Jimmy Knott Jnr. raised his hand. “Excuse me sir, but why are you limping?” 

“What’s the golden rule Knott?”

“Constant vigilance Sir.”

“Exactly Knott! Exactly! Drop your guard for one little moment and this is what happens.”

A witch in the middle of the classroom giggled earning herself a glare from the Professor.

“Careful Weasley! Or I might suspend your library privileges.”

The professor’s hand slapped down on the desk of the Zabini boy about whom he had some suspicions.

“You fancy the witches boy.”

“Sir?”

“You’re of an age boy. Surely there’s a young lass who tickles your fancy?”

“Yessir, absolutely.”

“Miss Weasley perhaps.”

Zabini shook his head.

“Something wrong with her?”

“Nosir just there’s another witch…”

“IDIOT!”

“What?”

“What’s the golden Rule Zabini?”

“Constant Vilgilance!”

“Who gave us the golden rule?” He glanced around the room. “Longbottom?”

“Mad-eye!” the boy shouted boldly.

“Professor Moody to you boy. You had to earn the right to call him ‘Mad-Eye’”

He walked to the portrait on the wall tapping it to get its attention.

“Alastar Moody, Auror, professor, bachelor. A man who died happy, a man who died with his boots on.”

  
“Should never have trusted that bloody thief” the portrait bellowed. “Constant Vigilance!” 

“Albus Dumbledore, greatest wizard who ever lived, Headmaster of Hogwarts, too many other titles to remember, bachelor, died happy.”

The portrait smiled genially, waved at the students and glided off the canvas.

“Why sir? Young Malfoy asked.

“Didn’t you listen boy?” the professor roared. “I told you!”

“Please sir?”

“They were bachelors.”

A twitter ran through the class, emanating mostly from the young witches present.

“Woman.” He stated loudly. “Are a nightmare!”

“Why there’s this one witch who has been the bane of my exista…”

Rosie Weasley stood up. “Oh please D…er Professor!”

“You have something to say Miss Weasley?”

“Yes I do! It’s all your own fault! If you hadn’t forgotten to buy M.. Professor Granger flowers for your anniversary you wouldn’t be walking with a limp today!”

The class roared with laughter.

“Gentlemen my own daughter, my own daughter turns against me”

The boys were laughing as hard as the girls and with a weary hand he dismissed the class.

Professor Ron Weasley slumped into his chair shaking his head. 

“Not one to take nonsense that girl.” Moody said from his portrait.

“A lot like her mother.” Said the rather more sedate portrait of Remus Lupin. “Brightest witch of her age.”

“Oh she’s grand.” Ron said. “Just like her mum, just like her mum. Just too damn smart for my good though”.

 Fin


End file.
